Hamaayan / The Torah Spring Edited by Shlomo Katz Yom Kippur: Why We Don't Tremble Volume XIV, No. 53 10 Tishrei 5761 October 9, 2000 Sponsored by Rochelle Dimont and family on the yahrzeit of husband and father Rabbi Albert Dimont a"h Today's Learning: Megillah 3:2-3 Orach Chaim 325:11-13 Daf Yomi (Bavli): Nedarim 82 Daf Yomi (Yerushalmi): None R' Shalom Schwadron z"l (the "Maggid" of the Maggid Speaks books) observed: It was not so long ago that people shook with awe and fear at the approach of the Days of Awe. There still echo in my ears my mother's cries when I was naughty during the month of Elul. She couldn't understand - how can one not tremble during the Days of Awe? She would say, "Even the fish in the sea tremble during Elul; how can you be naughty and not tremble?" "I remember," related R' Schwardon, "that when R' Elya Lopian z"l (died 1970) reached the words of the selichot, 'They tremble because of the day when You will come [i.e., Yom Kippur],' his face would turn white from fear and his body would shake. Once, when he said the words of selichot, 'I am ashamed to lift my face before You,' I saw that his face turned white from shame. "I heard from a student in the Mir Yeshiva," R' Schwadron said, "that he came to understand what Yom Kippur used to be when his father talked about the fear that he felt while fighting in the Russo-Japanese War (in 1905). This boy's father said, 'The bombs fell around us, and for some moments, our fear was as great as the fear we experienced while reciting the Ne'ilah prayer!' Obviously," concluded R' Schwadron, "there was nothing more fearful to this man than Yom Kippur." Why don't we feel this way on Yom Kippur? R' Schwadron explained: Perhaps we are no less observant than our ancestors and perhaps our faith is no less than that of our ancestors, but what has changed are our values. Specifically, we are mired in worldly pleasures, not in a sinful or prohibited way, but in a way that restricts our ability to sense spirituality. This is why we don't sense the holiness of Yom Kippur in the same way that our ancestors did only a few generations ago. (Kol Dodi Dofaik p.20) ******** Why is Teshuvah Difficult? R' Yosef Yoizel Horowitz z"l (the "Alter of Novardok"; died 1919) writes: We generally have no trouble making precise calculations when they relate to our financial portfolios or the doses of medicine we take, even though a mistake in one of these activities can have severe consequences. Why, then, do we have trouble taking an accounting of our deeds? The answer, explains R' Horowitz, is that we tend to think that there are only three spiritual levels - one is either wicked, righteous, or in-between. We all know that we are not wicked and we know that we are unlikely to become tzaddikim, so we simply accept that we are in-between. But we are wrong! Just as a medicine dropper has many levels between full and empty, so there are many levels between being a rasha / wicked person and a tzaddik. It is our obligation to climb from one level to the next even if we will never reach the top. (Madregat Ha'Adam p. 132) Another answer: R' Yaakov Moshe Charlop z"l (died 1952) writes that teshuvah is difficult because we don't feel the joy that should be associated with it. This, in turn, results from not appreciating the value of teshuvah. (Mei Marom: Ori Ve'yishi p. 344) R' Yitzchak Hutner z"l elaborated on this point: All mitzvot must be performed with joy, but this joy is not an integral part of the mitzvah. Joy is, however, an inseparable part of the mitzvah of teshuvah. Just as the pain that one feels because of his sins is an integral part of repentance, so feeling joy because one has attained atonement is an integral part of teshuvah, because one's joy at being rid of one's sins is proof that the sins worried him. (Pachad Yitzchak: Rosh Hashanah 10:9) ******** Chazal say that one cannot achieve atonement unless he appeases those against whom he has sinned. Some say that one cannot achieve atonement even for his sins against G-d unless he has properly atoned for his sins against man, and received forgiveness. (Kaf Hachaim 606:3) Why? Because atoning only for some sins is like immersing part of one's body in a mikveh. Obviously, one does not attain purity by doing so. (Mussar Hamishnah) ******** Because Yom Kippur does not atone until one appeases his neighbor, one should be certain to recite the following prayer which is printed in some machzorim: "I extend complete forgiveness to everyone who has sinned against me, whether physically or monetarily, or who has gossiped about me or even slandered me; so, too, anyone who has injured me, whether physically or financially, and for any human sins between man and his neighbor - except for money that I wish to claim and that I can recover by law, and except for someone who sins against me and says, `I will sin against him and he will forgive me' - except for these, I grant complete forgiveness, and may no person be punished on my account. "And just as I forgive everyone, so may You grant me favor in every person's eyes so that he will grant me complete forgiveness." ******** One Yom Kippur night, the chassidim of R' Yisrael of Rizhin z"l (died 1850) saw that he was preoccupied, and several times during the night he entered the shul and paced back and forth. At dawn, however, his face lit up with joy. After Yom Kippur, the elders among the chassidim worked-up the nerve to approach R' Yisrael and question him. He said, "Bring me the servant from such-and-such Jew's house." At first, the servant was afraid to come, but R' Yisrael told the chassidim to assure the servant that he had nothing to fear. When the servant came, R' Yisrael said, "Tell us what happened to you last night." This is the servant's story: "Last night, when we came to the words, 'For your Name's sake, Hashem, may You forgive our iniquity, though it is great,' I saw that everyone was crying. I said to myself, 'Why are they crying, while I am not crying? It must be because they know the meaning of the words and I don't.' But then I said, 'I attended cheder; maybe I can remember what the words mean.' And, indeed, I did figure out that we were saying, 'Hashem, may You forgive our iniquity, though it is great.' "But this left me troubled. If one sins against another person or against the king and begs for forgiveness, one usually says, 'Forgive me! After all, it was nothing.' Why do we tell Hashem that our sins are great? So I started crying, and I said to G-d, 'You've helped me translate the words - now help me understand them.' "All night I cried until, in the morning, the meaning came to me. I often carry heavy loads for my employer, and I sometimes stop passers-by in the street and say, 'Forgive me, but my load is heavy. Can you give me a hand with it?' This is what we say to Hashem: 'Forgive us, but the burden of our sins is heavy. Please lift some of it off our backs'." When the servant concluded his story, R' Yisrael added: "All night long, a terrible decree was being prepared against us in Heaven, and that is why I paced back and forth. However, thanks to this man, Hashem relieved our burdens and tore up the decree." (Otzrot Tzaddikei U'geonei Ha'dorot p.509) The staff of Hamaayan wishes all of our readers and friends a G'mar Chatimah Tovah